2003-10-06 - 2:24 p.m.
Yesterday� all my troubles seemed so far away�
Ok I�m in a sappy, melancholy mood. Or is it a bitter, jaded mood. Or is it a pissed off, fuck the world mood. Well anyway, it�s a mood.
Today has been a bad day. I forgot to take my insulin this morning. That�s just stupid. Luckily I have mitigated this stupidity by having insulin and needles at work. So that wasn�t a disaster. I also forgot my glasses, so I�m working on a wicked headache right now. But the topper is that my darling kitty Fee Fee got out the front door this morning and was promptly chased under the house by the new neighbor�s annoying dog. I was already late to catch my train so I had to leave her there. Luckily she�s 13 years old and smart and somewhat streetwise so I think she�ll be OK. I�m just worried. Lonnie is on his way over to the house. Hopefully he�ll be able to get her back inside.
Last night Lonnie and I had a long talk. We are definitely separating. He has way too many issues to just get over and he needs serious help. I understand his demons, and I understand the need to be alone. Ironically, I�m very much aware that this is what my ex husband must have felt when I left him. (Except that he was an alcoholic and I warned him for 6 months before I left). We cried a lot and held each other and it was very, very sad. He feels terrible that he is doing this to us/me but just can�t figure any way around it. So he�s moving out and he promised to get some counseling, and maybe in a couple months we�ll try dating again. Just to see if we can or should try to reconcile. We�re talking more tonight about separating the bank account, him getting his own car insurance and all that stuff�
I guess life goes on�
This is my LAST incarnation on earth� I mean Good Lord, I just can�t handle humans anymore.
Thanks to Mrs. Roboto for the nice note and to my sister E for feeling my rage. I think I've figured out what to do with one of my commemorative tattoos. I told Lonnie about it and he had the same idea. Maybe we can go together to get them done. Ha! More cosmic jokes...
