2003-10-22 - 3:02 p.m.
Breaking up is hard to do�.
So, sometimes the more I think I�m over the break up and ready to move on, the more I find I�m not. Last night I had a migraine so I went home from work early and found out that my practice for the evening was cancelled! YAY! So I took a bath and got into my jammies and waited for the Tylenol to work on my migraine. I was having a lovely evening watching blind date when Lonnie comes home. He immediately shows me which videos and DVDs he�s taking, which pictures are coming off the wall� asks me to pick out my cds etc. I thought I was doing OK. But then as he was moving stuff out of the house and into his car I lost it. Consequently, he lost it too. It was rather gut wrenching and after he got his car full of stuff he left. Luckily, tonight I�m recording with Venus Bleeding so I wont be home to witness more devastation of my house and stuff. I hope he vacuums.
I�m having real trouble concentrating at work today. Here might be why�
Amidst all of this drama of my marriage, I met a boy. Which is a good thing in a way because it�s a nice distraction and he�s very sweet and supportive of all my crap with Lonnie. The bad thing is that I feel guilty. I�m worried for several reasons. 1) I hope I�m not just using his kindness to get through this with Lonnie, 2) I hope I don�t get too serious with him, 3) I really like him�. So I hope it gets a little serious, in a fun way, 4) I hope I don�t scare him away because I�m a freak, 5) he�s almost 8 years younger than me.
He�s an accomplished classical musician (violin and piano), but also can appreciate Slayer. He loves Nightmare before Xmas, Power Puff girls, Toy Story, the Evil Dead series, he�s an Animator, he�s seen Space Vacuum and still likes me�. Heh.
Ok so why am I freaked out? Because, I haven�t �dated� in YEARS� and the older I get the more gun shy. Speaking of shy� he�s shy. And he looks like a cuter version of Anton LaVey. Heh�
But I digress�. Well this whole blog entry is one long digression. What am I doing???? Somebody help me.
By the way. Elliot Smith� rest in peace.
