2003-06-06 - 1:22 p.m.
I like the Friday Five today! So it think I�ll indulge�
1. How many times have you truly been in love?
I think twice. I�m pretty sure at one time I was in love with my first husband, although I can�t remember why. I�m in love with my current husband L. he�s my soulmate (if you believe in that). I call him my �puzzle piece� we fit together really well in many ways.
2. What was/is so great about the person you love(d) the most?
He is talented (plays guitar, bass and drums), considerate, a great dad to our cats, loves children and animals, hardworking, he cleans the house for me J and he LOVES me! He's also very supportive of all my bands which is great.
3. What qualities should a significant other have?
A good sense of humor, talent, rhythm, good taste in music, willingness to expand his horizons, open mindedness. Fun personality� L is all of these things�
4. Have you ever broken someone's heart?
I think so. I�m pretty sure I broke my ex�s heart when I left him. But that was a long time coming, it had to happen (broke my heart too). I might have broken this guys heart that I was dating, but it was his fault� I told him it was casual and he went along with it� and then when I broke it off he cried and told me he loved me! Eeeek� that was weird�
5. If there was one thing you could teach people about love, what would it be?
The �IN LOVE� feeling will fade, and that�s not a bad thing. It�s usually the infatuation that is mistaken for real love. It�s the reason so many marriages break up. If the marriage/relationship is built on that feeling alone it can�t last. True love has phases and will change through out your life. If you can roll with the changes and keep finding the reason (at that moment) why you love your significant other, it will last. Well this is my theory anyway. I haven�t been married for like 20 years or anything� hehehehe
So I�m going to therapy and it�s so bad for my self esteem. I�m in this mode of �having issues� is a weakness. And I don�t allow myself to have weaknesses. Even though I have many. So it�s a vicious self esteem busting circle. I have an issue about having issues. You get the idea.
I think I freak out my therapist. First of all, she�s very nice. Kind of Barbie-ish but not as bad as I once had her pegged for. I can smell her fear of me, which is her weakness. Hahahaha Sometimes I bring up aspects of my life, personality or whatever, that I know will cause her to subtly jump out of her skin, but she has to maintain a professional attitude� its kind of a game sometimes. Oh did I mention she�s a graduate student? (cheap therapy)
The question is, is all this HELPING me? Not sure. Just going to a therapist is giving me self esteem problems�. So I might be hurting me� more on that later, if I can manage to pull together a coherent though on the subject.
My Band VB picked a bassist. A GUY! J Should be good though, I think our poor drummer was feeling weird. No developments yet, although we did write a new song. OK, well I wrote it, but it�s working out �. So that�s good�
On a lighter note, it�s only the 6th and I�m broke. What fun� Did I mention that my husband only works part time?�. Any Sugar Daddies out there?
